Untitled

We stumble, We fall
but what is a little obstacle,
which comes but for a while,...

Above or about, how time moves on.
Marvelously, flawlessly, lazily, seductively
but rarely ever benignly.

Night time light breezes fanning the insomnia.
The malevolent thoughts ride on the breeze.
Overwhelming, engulfing is the fragrance
the sweet smelling wisteria and tuberose

About or before, how cold breathes.
Sometimes veiled and always ephemeral
engulfed in shroud, floating silhouettes

 

Smile

Why does the heart not live?
Only the sadness covers.
Where was the friend I needed then?
Emptiness embraces needlessly as a painful lover.
As the smiles are gently stolen
Eyes glow and in them a need endures!
As the hearts are, the smiles play softly.
Ever to hear a sigh, it fought the earth and sky.

Random thoughts

How does the breeze not breathe?
What is life after all...
We die, but only for a while,
Before or above, how death endures on.
Where is the gentle breeze, the empty fear now?
Count the kisses, feel the fear.
Ever to seek a lock, it drove a eye.
Only the moon stumbles as a giddy gesture.
How does the skin not endure?

We live, but only for a while,
How does the embrace not glow?
Sometimes pleasant and always vigorous.
Yet there's hate upon the faiths and the locks.
Though it's now more blue and less nurturing.
Needlessly, silently, cravenly.
To feel, we fought. To give, we heard.
We triumph, but only for a while,

Farewell

Never did I think we would part
but like all things else
we too had a falling out

Cross road on the path we walked
you bade a goodbye
never did you look back

stood watching you
watching you quit
quit on an 'us' which never did exist

an 'us' of my mind
a mind at loss
loss that numbs
comatose which lulls

words fail me
all fails me
broken is how I feel

soul shredded to essence
grieving
grieving for sublime

lament the loss no more
you were the wings beneath my wings
the smile on my lips

it'll take me time
time to sew the rips
to smile again
smile that will not remind
remind me of you

But that would be my struggle
a struggle I will walk on alone
I will come out
come out or cease

Tempest

Tempest on the horizon


storm, rain, hail, 

tearing everything in path

destroying all

encompassing all

chaos, tumult, pandemonium

destruction, carnage in its wake

retribution? 

retribution for human playing God

or God playing God

Restore the balance

Like Shiva the Destroyer

stasis piggybacking the furor - the Tempest

Cold dreams

Sinister and musty like the dead and decayed
I can taste the cold dreams left behind by the spirits
Atone! The inspiration is vanishing
So cold, so cold... above the ground
I can see the dazzling demons in the water
We Reach! We reach soon! They whisper
Dark and black beneath the flock
We conjure dry tentacles over the fire
Bizarre! Quite Bizarre! You feel safe!
clouded wanting,  
nothing to lose 
stop for a while 
while I close and rest my eyes

Fear

Fear,
debilitating fear
Gut wrenching fear
With cold hands
twisting my heart
And tearing my soul
Hiding underneath
is my supraliminal self
Paralysed, crippled
cowering, trembling

Clouds -- rejuvenated jewels!

Clouds -- rejuvenated jewels!
o! floating and flitting daffodils of the sky.
All the sun beams sear through, drawing patterns on the ground.
Beauty is an azure party within uncertainty and distance.
Clouds chase each other and in them love radiates!
Silently, rarely, voraciously.
Yet there's beauty and the chaos.
As the rainbows are, the messengers of the raindrops.

शून्य

शून्यता घेरे है
हर ओर छाए अँधियारे हैं
मन में घहराते काले साए हैं
ना कोइ रोशनी, ना कोई चिराग
निसभ्द, निश्बद
हर दिशा से आहत
मन को तड़पाते मेरे ये विचार हैं
नीरस निर्जीव से मेरे भाव हैं
कुछ उधार की मुस्कान
कुछ उधार के सपने
कब तक मुझे उभार सकेंगें

अब बस

बस अब और नही

ना अब और छटपटाना 

ना अब और दिशाहीन भहाव

बस और बस सम्पर्ण

समर्पण इस संघर्ष से

दिल

तेरी यादों ने तड़पाया बहुत है,
इस दिल को हम ने बहलाया बहुत है|

जब भी यह शाम ढली,
हम ने ख़ुद को समझाया बहुत है|

तेरी याद को हम ने दूर किया बहुत है,
मगर दिल ने हम को किया मज़बूर बहुत है|

काश तुम्हारी आँखों से छलकते ना वो मोती,
हमारे दिल ने हम को छला बहुत है|

हर बार हुई ईक दस्तक,
हर बार हम ने खुद को ही धोखा दिया बहुत है|

and she smiled

I worked in a small office where the only employees were me and Rae, sometimes joined by our boss.

It had been a long day. The office work was becoming... well the usual.. boring. I could only do so much to keep my eyes open with the ceiling fan trying its best to put me off to sleep. It was a hot sultry summer day. The kind of day when even the time forgets to move.

Each agonizing minute was very slow in its passing, there was still another hour for me to get free from the work. I looked at the clock on the office wall, which seemed to tick-ticking away with the speed of a turtle.

The traffic in the office was slow, may be even people wanted to stay indoors, safe from the sweltering and min-numbing heat. I looked across to the other side of my table. My colleague, Rae, seemed to have fought a similar battle and lost. He was dozing with his head thrown back, mouth open.

I shook my head, to dispel the sleep from my brain. I though of getting up and going up to the cooler, at least, I might be able to wash the sleep away. The laziness was trying to envelope me in its embrace. I took one last look at the office, it was eerily silent with only sound being that of the wheering fan.

All I wanted to do was get back home, start the AC, and plop myself in front of the TV, with a drink to give me company. It sounded an awesome plan.

The doors slid open, just as I was getting up from my seat, welcoming the incomer. I looked up and found myself staring at the most beautiful face that I had even seen.. (ever?... okay.. may be in a long time).  She had the most beautiful brown eyes, which seemed to have a life of their own. Her face was framed by long brown hair, which she had tied in a plait, from which tendrils of hair had managed to escape. It was like a dream of mine had come alive.

She looked around, trying to find a person who might be awake to help her out!

I willed with all my heart for her to look in my direction. When her eyes met mine, I felt my heart doing a crazy dance, which honestly had not happened in a very long time. The monotony of daily office had marred the excitement.

I smiled. Waiting for her to return the smile.

She looked at me.

She asked about where she could find the office of Advocate Raghav. My heart plummeted.
Here I was, making plans, asking her out for coffee in my dreams and here she was asking about Raghav. I cursed and kicked mys elf mentally. The letter 'R' was becoming my nemesis, Rae, Raghav... how many more R would I have to suffer.

Pasting a smile on my face, I told her about the next door cabin.

She left.

I collapsed on my chair, all thoughts of coffee.... 'voossh'.

I stared at the clock, there still was 20 minutes to go. Rae snored softly, with drool dripping out form the right corner of his mouth. Any other day, I would have found it funny, may be would have taken a picture for Instagram. But today I found it all jarring.

I got up, irritated, kicked Rae's chair, bringing him back from the land of semi-dead, and told him gruffly, "I am going". He looked dazed at the clock, raised his eyebrows in a question. I replied with the shrug of my shoulders, dug into my pocket, picked the helmet and left.

I could hear Rae's gasp. I had never done that. I was always the 'proper and perfect' employee. I felt elated.

Leaving the office early by 15 minutes was giving me happiness!! I cursed myself again, I needed a life!!

Reaching home, I immediately plunked myself on the couch, opened the drink and immersed myself in the TV. (I had no life. All I had was office and TV).

The bell rung, awakening me from my dreamless sleep. I staggered to the door, opened it and found 'her' standing in front of me.

I shook my head, trying to clear my head. She asked me the same question. I answered mechanically, he is in the next cabin.

She asked if she could come inside, it was very hot outside.

I nodded. All power of speech and thought had flown away by now.

She glided inside, looked around, and proceeded to sit on the couch. Picked up the bottle that moments ago I had been holding.

My mouth went dry. Questions should have collided with each other in my brain. "What is she doing here?, Why is she here? etc. etc."

All I did was stare at her.

She looked at me as if I was a specimen.

Suddenly, I was not feeling sleepy.

She looked at me.

I walked over and sat next to her on the couch.

She looked at me.

She smiled.

I cringed.
I wanted to crawl away.
wanted to run away.

She smiled.

I realized what I had done.
I had invited a demon into my house.
I could not move.

And she smiled.

Woman's Day!

As if we need a special day to be reminded that we are women!
As if we need a special day to remind all around us that we need to be respected!
A day which is celebrated like so many other days,
with pomp and show
with words which are 'politically correct'
with words which tell us we are empowered

How is the day any different from the 364 other days of the year
when we have the women degraded, mutilated,
sold and bought like cattle,
when even the decision of what to wear is made by another,
Another who I may not even know!

When words around us are enough to mar us for eternity
When the 'look' that we see in the eyes of the beholder shame us
When in actuality it should be the other way.

When all that the men around me want to do is 'protect' me
When all that the society wants me to do is 'be coy'
When all that the society demands is for me to 'toe the line'

Why? Why? Why?
Why does it have to be 'woman' every time who has to give in
Why does it have to be 'woman' every time who has to play coy
Why do I need to avert eyes
Why do I have to play ignoran