Cry

It was a soft cry.... like the cry of help by a baby for its mother when he/she is scared and wishes to be assured and pampered by the mother...

She was cowering in a corner making whimpering sounds... waiting to be saved from what now seemed like a sure face-off with the danger... She knew she was in danger.. the animal in her was able to smell it from a mile every time.. only this time her senses had been dulled by the other things that had been going on in her life...

She had always been proud of her ability to dodge the danger.. but of late with her loosing so much so soon had caused her sense of preservation to take  back seat.. all her senses were directed towards coping with the grief caused...

The shadows came closer and soon took shape.. turned themselves into human beings... she was wary very wary of the events waiting to unfold.. pushed against the wall... ready to fight but she had less of hope to go on..

The humans could sense it... they exchanges quick looks giving each other signals that were easily understood with years of hunting together.. they were ready to hunt her down.. they were well armed while she had only her animal instincts to fall back upon... all other senses had been dulled...

They moved in unison like a pack out for hunt.. she cowered but knew that to survive this she would have to get together all of her resolve and withstand the onslaught..

She stood tall and waited in a defensive mode.. waiting for the attack to begin.. they closed in on her.. inching forward.. all the while hedging her.. she growled under her breath.. suddenly they charged..

She got on her haunches and lunged forward... her claws unsheathed.. fangs uncovered... it would have been scary had she been given the chance to grow into the strong beasts that her family was..

At the age that she was, without her family to guide her, she was no match to the hunters.. even though she put up a strong resistance.... she was soon over-powered... and was bundled into the cage...

The cage that was to be her home from now on... from which she emerged only to dance to the tunes of her masters... a mighty beast reduced to performing in front of humans (if they could be called such... after all humans were supposed to be possess kindness)...

The lady of the jungle... the pride of woodlands was reduced to a mere performer.. forever forlorn.. waiting for an escape which she knew lay only in death

Pain

Have you ever felt that there is a pain you just can not put your name to but it is there.. it has no cure.. no feasible escape... no God forsaken way using which you can take a break from it...

Well... I have had the pleasure of living with such pain day in day out.. 24 X 7.. no respite... constantly... making its presence felt.. to the extent it seems like white noise... jarring to the mind.. numbing... not just for your mind but also the ability to move... ability to work at a level what people consider "normal"..

Its been a constant companion (unwanted but a companion) always present.. burning as if on a slow heat.. like your breath.. but unlike the breath it reminds you of its presence.... perpetually

All I want to do is to leave it behind for sometime... and all it wants is to be with me.. reminding me of itself...

Endless series of queue

Queue.. such a simple word.. literal meaning.. standing in a line waiting for your turn...
A simple word...
Life for her had turned into an endless wait from one queue to the other.. She was born as a third child in the queue of desire for a boy child by her parents. Mother had wanted to protect her from the anger of the rest of the family, but her weakness did not allow her to save her child.

She spent her childhood being neglected and had to suffice herself with the bits of love that was given to her... even for being acknowledged she had to wait patiently for her turn...

She had not been blessed with the best of looks... she waited patiently for her turn to be looked and appreciated... She soon realized that in order to be acknowledged by people around her she would have to start using her brains. Gaining knowledge about everything became a passion for her. She wanted to break out of the queue that her life had become and reach the head of the queue.

Everyday was a struggle, a strife to rise above the mediocrity, a wrangling for every ounce of her willpower to fight against being pushed back into the queue... Every time she tried to break out of the queue.. she was muscled back to her corner...

Her life became a constant scramble against the oppression of people... she was loosing her determination to fight on her own... she desired to be supported.. to be held and be told that soon, very soon she would be the one in front of the queue...

Her parents did not understand her want to be the first in the queue... they always tired to make her understand that she did not deserve. people like her never could be in the front... she always struggled..

She was married off against her wishes.. and then a whole new struggle of not being in the queue started... Now her struggle was to be the first in the queue to buy groceries for her household.. her desires and aims were 'dulled' out and she now thought of these as if it had all happened to someone else in some other world....

Her desires were made to stand in a queue.. a queue which she had tried to break but which ended up breaking her

Exception

Breathless, running away from danger, he did not feel that it had been an exception.... his meeting the 'Bucon'... the hatred demon.. he should have met him much earlier given his hate for anything that was of any value to any person. He never could understand this unfounded hatred he felt because of which he wanted to possess and destroy another's valued things.
Once he came to realize the importance of anything for someone he had a one-mind thought of annihilating it from the face of the Earth.. he wanted everyone to be as unhappy as he imagined himself to be...
Born to God-fearing parents for whom it was a shock to see the much deformed baby boy when they had been expecting an incarnation of God as the baby... he had always felt neglected and rejected by his family... he was asked to stay in his room at all family gatherings... he could always hear the laughter... the sharing of which he was never a part... always an onlooker... in the beginning he resented not being a part.. with time resentment grew into a consuming hate for everything... he was unable to stand the thought of happiness in anyone....
Overcome by the hate.. with voices guiding him from the shadows.. he released his parents from the misery of taking pity on him and trying to hide him from the cruelty of the world.. not that he understood or cared.. for him they were his biggest enemies...
He gave his soul to Bucon.. consumed by the rage and hatred which dimmed only when he saw the fear in the eyes of his victims.. he felt protected by the demon... he felt he was invincible.. all the while feeding the demon .... making him stronger... till today when the 'Bucon' came to claim what was rightfully his..
His life...
All these years he had been feeding off the fear of the others... praying to a demon he believed to be God... now his God had come to claim what was His... He wanted his soul for always.. wanted to possess it... to serve Him...
and he found himself running away.. followed by a sinister laugh... every alley he tried to hide in.. he could see the eyes peering at him.. watching him intently.. trying to possess him...
He got tired... all he wanted to do was have two moments of sleep.. but he was afraid of sleeping.. he had no respite.. not even in his sleep.. 'Bucon' followed him in his sleep... He was everywhere...
Human body is very frail.. it can only put up with so much... especially a body which has not been taking good care.. intoxicated on the false sense of power.. sleep soon caught up with him... he knew now there was no escaping...
Bucon glided into his dreams.. took what was His.. leaving the lifeless form behind...

Dilemma

The horn blew in the distance. She stood facing the sea which was as uneasy as she was. It had been a long time since, she had felt this sense of uneasiness... Life till now had seemed like a bed of roses, everything had been available as and when she had desired for it. This was the first instance of the proverbial 'fork in the road' and she was unable to come to a decision.. the sea had attracted her promising to help her unravel her problem, if one could call it with such a simple name.

She  stood there for a long time facing the sea, waiting, hoping with an expectancy for an answer from the  angry waves of the sea. An answer which was not coming any time soon. An answer she knew but was not ready to accept because that would mean that she had not only to accept the answer but also work on making the answer a reality.

Reality was what she was escaping, standing there on the sea-shore. Her life had become a series of things which she had not control upon.

She had recently lost her child, the child who had become the center of her life. The child for which she had willed herself to live through the times when she had decided to give in; the child who was the reason for her very bring. She had lost the child and knew not what to do when she could not hear the voice of the child calling her out everyday.

The sea appeared to call to her in a seducing voice, seducing her to give up the inner turmoil and surrender to the sea forever. She stood there enthralled and enraptured listening to the voice which only she could hear. She moved imperceptibly towards the sea.

A sad figure moved towards her from the road, whispered in her ear, took her hand in his hand. She leaned her head towards the figure. Now they both stood joined in their grief, watching the sea.

Chase

Chasing... one spends almost an entire life-time chasing after one dream or another aspiration... often forgetting the simple things which are more important.... spending the time with your loved ones... sharing a smile with a friend... greeting everyday with a zeal.. facing every obstacle with a courage...
All of these take a backseat in the mad rush  to excel in life.. be the omniscient one.. with all the knowledge.. every achievable thing within reach... an unending hunger for more and more..
We all need to take some time out... to step back and let things slow down... absorb things around us... the reason for things..