Darkness

Engulfing encompassing
exhausting incapacitating
devitalizing enfeebling
asphyxiating deluging
obliterating suffocating
sousing choking....

a disquietude suffering
the disquiet misgiving
 the agitation
the fermentation
the dysphoria

of thoughts of
numbness insensibility
stupefaction
a paralysis

of a desire of
an endless stupor
a coma
a hebetude
an inertness

to give in
tenebrosity
dark crepuscule
whispering slithering shadows
enticingly seductively
inviting to its embrace.

 

Ethereal

A feeling of ethereal, 
a night of dark desires,
a song of sorrow plays,
a soul venting pain.

A feeling of ethereal,
curling, icy wisps of memories,
shrouding all in gaunt forms,
a brooding agony.

A feeling of ethereal,
Azrael cloaked in limpid raiment,
come to collect its dues,
tasting the life gush
from the pale flesh beneath.

A feeling of ethereal,
brings a new awareness
vague smiles
lurking connotations
sly tenderness.

Surrender

I'll surrender to the dreams the dreams of things to be of dazzling stars and shiny eyes of flowing rivers and deep ravines of mellifluous music of fairies and pixies of flying on exquisite wings skimming above the oceans and seas
I'll surrender to the dreams the dreams of things to be of depths of oceans of vastness of universe of trees of plenty of fields of prosperity
I'll surrender to the dreams  the dreams of things to be of brilliance of the sun of gleam of the moon of souls that are free
I'll surrender to the dreams the dreams of things to be

Night in glory

The night engulfs all in itself,
cloaking all in entirety
the good and the bad

A harbinger of dreams and hopes
wrapping these in sleepy eyes
a promise of tomorrow

Dreams which help to fly
fly on wings of desires

skimming on the surface of the seaway
diving into the depths
rising to the heights

Brilliance of the stars
lure of twilight
tender strands of lucent

cherub angels lure
to a tomorrow land
land of promises

Pulled Apart

The night falls with a silent sigh,
Soulless are we.
The salvation for which we sacrifice ourselves
flares once, then dies,
devoured by abyss.
All hopes must surely perish.

The passion throbs in us no more.
How could we cause such hurt to the other?
Angels surround us, crying,
lost we have, our way.

When it breaks

A heart-brake, is just what it is called, hear breaking. When it happens, it's like your life has come to a stop. You cannot breathe. There is nothing romantic about it, nothing like listening to sad songs. 

It's about your breath failing you, just when you need it most. It's about loosing your confidence and being stripped of everything that makes you, you. It's seeing the person who broke you everywhere you go, seeing them in all the people you meet. 

It's stopping in the middle of the road, in tears, 'coz you cannot make anyone understand the pain you are in. It's freezing in your tracks, 'coz you were reminded of their smile. It's about being okay for long and then unexpectedly, being engulfed by the ghost of a voice, a touch, which leaves you aware of the choking. 

It's the pain in your chest, which just doesn't go. It's the smile you have in crowds, but the ache which stays with you. It's the hope that things will become corrected. It's about dying a little every minute, trying to salvage of what is left you, sifting through the remains of what was once you, making a new you, a lot different from what you were.

Stop glamorizing heartbreak. It is not about loosing self in a narcotic, or in a euphoria of cymbals. 

It's about smiling and being normal, when on the inside there is nothing orderly about you. It's about sleeping every-night, hoping tonight would be the last night of this unending heartache, and rising in the morning to be entangled in the same labyrinth of pain.

It's about your favourites become a little less than favourite. It's about trying to find an escape, from the soreness; a wound which seems to bleed on the inside, which has weakened you from the inside, eaten away at the soul, leaving you a shell of what were.

The heartbreak debilitates you, entrapping you in abyss, a chasm at which you stare in a vacuum.

Raoul - 18

Laila answered, "Hanif is not here, as you can see for yourself! It's only me here!", batting her eyelashes at Raoul in feigned innocence. Raoul swore under his breath. He was getting tired of the cat and mouse games. He spoke with an authoritative voice and repeated his question. Laila took a step back, and replied, minus the batting lashes, "I don't know! They left some time back. Told me that they would be back by end of day."

Masud asked if she had any idea where they had gone. Laila shook her head in negative. Raoul wished he had played less of a detective, and had shown more sense. His wish for adventure had landed not just him but also Lyna in a mess.

Masud begged Laila that if she knew anything at all, she should help them. Masud got craftier with each line, he spoke. He was now not just begging but also was trying to be charming at the same time. any other time Raoul would have been disgusted, but right then he found it a bit endearing, not that Masud's appearance was helping much in his efforts.

Laila relented a little and told that Hanif had inadvertently mentioned that they would be going to the local eatery before meeting with the rest of the team. Raoul's ears perked up at that. He saw a glimmer of hope. This could end well.

Pulling Masud up, he said his thanks to Laila and broke into what could be called a sprint, what with Masud still shuffling his feet, and again whimpering. Raoul asked him as to what exactly was it with him and walking that brought out such whimpers from him. Masud mumbled, "It's not walking, but what I am guessing is at the end of our journey. I am not very hopeful for a pleasant culmination of your adventures. Raoul reminded him that it was him that had given Lyna's car as a gift to the thieves.

By the time their mutual grumblings came to an end, they had reached Songket, the local eatery. Raoul did not have to drag Masud this time, given that it was an eatery that they were entering. Masud moved with quite a momentum.

Raoul hoped this would be the end of his woes. He felt he should've gone to the police instead of listening to Lyna, worrying about her cousin, Masud, being in trouble. He sat down and saw that Masud had already piled up his plate from the buffet.

Just as he had sat down, he saw Hanif, Anees and the mastermind entering the eatery. He wanted to jump them, but decided to lay low. He itched to lay his hands on these scheming retards, who had involved his wife in their escapade.

Hanif looked up directly to look into Raoul's eyes. He seemed to recognise him, and motioned to Anees to take a look at him. As Anees looked back, Masud also chose the same instant to turn his head and look directly at Anees.

A smile spread on Anees's face and he motioned to Masud to join them. Masud looked at Raoul, and without waiting, picked up his plate and moved to the other table.

Raoul - 17

Earlier

Masud wanted to run away, which was no surprise to Raoul. What could be expected from a person whose brain was addled with drugs and to top that seemed to be involved in all kinds of shenanigans?!

Shaking his head, at what he had known to have some good somewhere, he nudged Masud to move forward. Every nudge brought more whimpers and more shuffling.

Raoul knew if whimpering did not finish soon, he will loose all his patience with Masud. He spoke to himself, under his breath, "Raoul, just few more minutes. Few more minutes."

Masud reached out to open the door to the building. A buzzer or a bell in such a would definitely have been out of place. Masud stumbled forward as the door came free from its hinges in his hand. He fell forward, with a crash, on top of the door. A loud cry emerged from him, while Raoul could not stop himself from laughing, giving that it seemed a scene straight out of a Charlie Chaplin movie.

He stifled his laughter helping Masud to his feet. Masud gave an embarrassed smile, mumbled his gratitude and avoiding eye contact with Raoul, showed him the way forward. 

They moved up the stairs to the third floor. Masud stopped on the stairs, looked at raoul, and for the second time in the day, asked Raoul, "Should you be doing this? May be we should go to the police?! This is not going to be safe."

Raoul pressed his hand to his temples, wishing for that headache not to start at such an inopportune time, not that it ever did start and go away at his whims. He looked at Masud, "May be you should've used your sense before giving Lyna's car away as a gift to your friends to use as the getaway vehicle."

Masud flinched. Raoul stared at him. Whatever resolve Masud had till now, melted away, and he agreed with Raoul, "Alright! Alright, alright! I'll take you where those guys are generally found.

He looked at the flat on the left side of the stairs, cursing himself, for having come out to meet Raoul and Lyna, knowing all that he knew.

He motioned Raoul to follow him, and reached the last flat in the corner. Standing outside the flat, he knocked on the door. They waited.

No sound came out.

He knocked on the door again, waiting for a response. Almost giving up, he half-turned towards Raoul standing behind him, opening his mouth, when there was reply from inside, which was more along the lines of a question, "Who is it?", a female asked from inside.

Masud spoke that it was him and asked Laila to open the door. Laila replied, "Coming, coming, well isn't it strange to see you after such a long time, Mas...!", as she opened the door, stopping mid-sentence on seeing Raoul with Masud.

Raising her eyebrow, questioningly at Masud, she gestured towards Raoul. Masud mumbled and introduced Raoul.

Raoul entered the flat behind Masud, with Laila closing the door. Raoul got straight to the question and asked about Hanif and the others.

.... to be continued...

Emotions

I feel so alive and zingy all the time,
When I think of where I was and where I'm,
And when I see you, my heart fills with glee.
I cherish the awareness of this new found me...

Life's so gorgeous! This love is unending!
I can't resist a smile, it's true!
The eyes and brains fade into shadows...
Whole....  I'll never be blue!

The soul is encompassing; the heart glorious,
And my heart is truly awake.
I could sleep and dream 'til life was done,
But now there is a locus to my plans.

Brain Hyperdrive

I cannot sleep. Every night when it's time to sleep, even when all are asleep, I cannot sleep. I toss and I turn. I change positions to get more comfortable. I lie on my back, still no sleep. I turn and lie on my right side, nope, no sleep.

I try my left side, still no sleep. It's frustrating, listening to the fan whirring away, ruining any chance of my sleeping. Blocking out the sound of the fan, no help. The Air Con comes alive to cool the temperature, adding to the already noisy environment. I just cannot sleep.

It doesn't help when thoughts are racing through my mind, one after the other. Catching one thought and burying it deep in my conscious, doesn't help as another comes flying. A memory I had not thought about in ages, flies out and catches me. Another one runs as a sub-current, waiting to arise. A still another thought is not so patient and comes tangentially, attacking me.

My mind is abuzz. The thoughts start to tumble over one another. It's like I am on some drug, which keeps me up, making me feel alive. The energy in my brain, makes me sensitive to the sound of the dog packs barking at an innocent prey, to the sound of the car carrying its passengers encossed inside in the false sense of safety.

I move out the room. Maybe all I need is a change of the room, a room with less sound. I don't switch on the fan, don't want it whirring and trying to talk to me. The new room comes with its challenges. It has the light coming from the neighbors home, which is adding to the white noise. A pillow on the eyes helps a little, but now I can hear the sounds from two other rooms, with the Air Con switching on and going into a gung-ho mode and the fan trying to outdo with the shir shir of its own. The cacophony is too much for me.

I return to the room.

I toss and I turn.

I cannot sleep.

India burning- Why?!?

Just a thought or two on the current scenario in India

First: We all saw the video clip wherein students of JNU chanted Pakistan and Afzal Guru supporting slogans. Then we all also saw the doctored video clip accusing a few more student leaders.

Few questions I have from all the opposition leaders who are going hoarse shouting their support for the students.
1) Was Afzal Guru hanged by Modi personally?
If my memory serves me, it was the previous government, who is now going out and supporting the ones opposing Afzal Guru's sentencing.

2) Was due law process followed? Did he get a chance to appeal?
Yes, a due process was followed. He was tried in Court of Law according to our country laws. Was provided with chances to appeal, which looking at his activities was denied.

3) What did he exactly do?
He tried to instigate anti-India and terrorist activities while living in our Nation. He was found guilty of the said activities.

4) Do people of India have a right to voice their differences?
Yes, absolutely! But does that give them the right to say that 'Har ghar se Afzal aayega'.. No!

5) Did Umar have a right to air his views?
Yes!

6) Did he have a right to say what he did against India?
No.

7) Does it seem legit or is the current time correct to be blaming the current Government or is it even legit to support the students who are sloganeering against India?
It doesn't make any sense to blame BJP Government, for a decision which was taken a) under the Congress Government rule, b) by the Court of laws of our Nation.
As for Congress supporting, it is like the pot calling the kettle black. Go figure!

8) As the head of ruling party, does it become Sh. Narendar Modi's personal responsibility to ensure how people are eating in their homes?
NO! So, why should he become answerable for everything going wrong anywhere in the Nation. Even if it is me catching a cold!

9) When the undoctored videos showing Umar were sufficient, why would a ruling party bring out doctored video clips???

If anyone can please explain this??

10) Is RSS such a big organisation that it is responsible for sudden increase in rioting?
If it had been that effective and strong an organisation, India would have seen BJP coming to power way earlier.

One request to all the people... think.. please think.. before jumping on to the latest bandwagon of bashing Govt. of India!!