Do memories ever leave one?

It'd been a long time and I had assumed that I had become strong enough and would be able to face the problem I had started to face after my mother's passing away.  In the recent days, a close relative had undergone a surgery which meant that I had to visit the hospital. Assuming that I had been able to put the past where it belonged, I opened the door and entered....
Oh Boy! If I have I ever been wrong, this was the time I found out. One look at her, and my eyes started to sting, I found it difficult to breathe...
Tried to look away and make small talk with my sister-in-law about her... tried to read the two day old newspaper lying near by... but the brain refused to pay heed... there was that feeling in the gut of  fight or flight... but against what.. the child lying helpless after the surgery... trying to make light of it.. or the sinking nauseous feeling that I was getting...
I started to sweat.. cold sweat.. hands started to get cold.... I got up mid-sentence and walked out of the room... I am sure leaving my sister-in-law wondering, 'Is she all right?!!?'... managed to drag myself to a corner of the corridor.
Stood leaning against a pillar... and suddenly out of no-where without any warning... came the water-works.. the tears.. they kept on flowing ... had to ask myself why am I crying... didn't need long to get the answer for the same..
These were my private tears which I protected with zeal and when I saw family approaching.. wiped the tears.. kept my voice strong and told that I was fine.. just needed fresh air... It was not the first time I had such an episode.. not sure if it was the last..
Stood sharing my grief and tears with myself till I felt better...(for the time being)..

Subconcious is a strong force, often telling you about solutions to many of life' s problems. You might not like the solution much but the subconcious knows only to call a spade exactly what it is.
Most of us tend to dismiss the messages as flights of fantasies. It is imperative that when in doubt instead of tuning out we tune in.
The message we might recieve may seem to be illogical but is generally the 'right' choice.