No more lies

Tell me no more lies
Give me no more lies
You ask for my love
And then break my heart
Tell me no more lies

You walk into my life
Into my dreams
Pull me apart
Tell me no more lies

My walls are up again
No no more shall the walls be down
No more shall there be a bridge across
Tell me no more lies

Hurt and pained
Shrivelled
It will take time
Time for it to heal
Tell me no more lies

It lies broken
The trust that I had
The heart that I had shared
Your lies
Tell me no more lies

A mirage you were
An illusion you are
Building myself
Shall take time
Tell me no more lies

No don't talk like you know me
The one you knew is gone
This is a new me
Broken bruised proud
Tell me no more lies

Let me heal
Heal I shall
Without you
Without your lies
Don't tell me no more lies 

Sweet quarrels - The Lover and the Sweetheart

See the pursual of the lover,
Seems he's angry at the other.
Finds it difficult to see beyond,
overshadowed by the bond.

Finds it hard to see the sun
Overshadowed by what is done
Someone is out there gazing at the moon
Shadows remain, and gone not too soon

She is but an excited beau
That he once thought he knew
From afar her visage appears to be threaded with stars
as scattered jewels of a czar
The cimmerian pasture waiting
for dawn to come to turn bright

The lover shudders at the fool's gold
split between the decision to leave or hold

Tired

I stand here tired
Tired of your lies
Of your society telling me to smile
Smile a false smile
When inside I am broken
Bruised
No I shall not smile
Not anymore
Till you, yes you
You do not teach your son
 to respect the woman
You the one who teaches him
It's ok to abuse
Abuse where all the abuses disprove the women
You the one who teaches your daughter
To bow down
To quiet down
To give in
To give up her dreams
Because in this patriarchal society
Only men can dream
And decide who can dream
You pray the woman in temples
Slay them on the roads
Kill them in wombs
The ones who survive
You kill them everyday
No, don't smile like that
No don't wear those clothes
No don't talk like that
No don't walk like that
Stay inside it's late
It's not safe
It's never safe anywhere for a woman
Any time anywhere someone may kidnap her
Maim her
Throw acid on her
No is taken as a maybe
A smile as an invite
A talk as a license a license to hound her
Surround her
You lurk in corners
In shadows
In places woman thinks she is safe
Pounce on her
Defenceless you leave your daughters defenceless
Against the custodians of the society
Arm your daughters
Make them aware
Empower them
Do not chain them
Chains are all they know
Wearing these with pride
Not knowing they are in fetters the day they were born.

Time stood still

She was sitting with her eyes closed, head in her hands. Shocked.
She never had thought, she would have to take such a decision in her life. Every particle of her being wanted to run away, to deny the decision she was now forced to take.
Never had she thought that in this hour of need she would be alone.
Opening her eyes, she looked into the eyes of the doctor and asked, "Is there nothing else to be done?"
She knew she was asking a question whose answer she knew. Asking for some time, she stepped out of ICU and kept walking with no aim.
Floundering around in the road, in a daze, she heard sounds from Gurudwara, the Sikh holy place.
An atheist as she was, her feet took her inside. Sitting down in front of the holy book, she begged for few more moments. Realising her selfishness, with closed eyes she prayed for her mom's soul to be at peace finally.
She talked to her mom and told her, "Go, be in peace. I will manage, be your daughter and survive." She looked down at her watch; it was 8:30 pm.
Gathering herself she walked back determined. Ready to face the inevitable she stepped inside the cold hospital. She shivered as if she had been touched by an angel.
Reaching for the door to ICU, she saw the nurse walking towards her. She knew.
On the verge of collapse she gathered all her inner strength.
She knew what came next.
The days after that were a blur. Family, relatives, friends, all made her keep a strong front.
Nights.. nights were a long.. very long.
She stayed up, re-living each moment of the day and the days leading up to the day.
She wanted, no wished for her mother to be in a better place but so, so much needed her to be there, to hold her hand one more time. To scold her just one more time. To hug her just one more time.
The pain, the tears flowed, till her pain was her.
Everything made her cry. The flowers that her mom had planted. The clothes she had worn.
Every night she wrapped herself in her clothes and wept, wept till her crying became whimpering and she was lulled into sleep. Her sleep brought her no relief.
Walking down the streets during the day she heard her mom call out her name, till she started believing in her being alive.
She knew it would never happen that she would hear her mom or see her or talk to her, but every moment she spent living after that was a sham.
Time passed. She hid her pain in her heart. Deep in her heart. Her memories of her mom were hers.

Time

Like the sand
It slips through my fingers
Time it just flows away

Seems like yesterday
You had walked into my world
Rocked it shook it
Made it a new world

Like the sand
It slips through my fingers

You brought me smiles
Made it all that more beautiful
You grew so soon
From holding my finger with tour tiny fist
To the tall handsome young man

Like the sand
It slips through my fingers

Your first step was just yesterday
Your smiles were heavenly
Every smile of yours is heaven sent

Like the sand
It slips through my fingers
Time it flies away

Soon it would be time
Time for you to spread your wings
Test their strength

Like the sand
It slips through my fingers
Wish there was a way to slow it down

Wait a little
Stop a while
Let me catch up with you

Let's pause the time
Go for a walk again
Kick those leaves again
Play catch again

Let me blow one last kiss on your injuries
Let me hold on to the fleeting memory once again

Hush take a breath
Wait for me
Wait for me to catch up with you.

Reflections

Moving forward, lost in thoughts
  Shall I discover future that I dream of
Or from the ocean of memories
  Shall  I encounter the  Wintery chill in all its glory


Shall the sky spread its warm embrace
Or is it just a mirage
In front of me which seduces me

Turbulent and vivacious,
Should I flow with it,
Curious as I am.

Shall it give me it's bounty
 Or is it a chimera, a delusion, phantoms
Anticipating, waiting

Like a lost friend, it beguiles,
Reminding of times gone by
Ripples on the river of memories.

Longings

Because I could not fancy the longings
These did kindly desire for me.
I don't quite like the fact these,
learned to desire before I knew how to yearn.

I must cease, Must I cease?
the strange cravings again,
The uneasy, jittery, anxious, strained craving,
Crazy it is, this craving.
It does cease, it does desire,
again and again
Should it cling also?

The loneliness, however, hard it tries,
will always be existential.
Now experiential is just the thing
To make me wonder if this loneliness is conjectural.

Consumed

What have you wrought?
A shadow of chaos as perceptions writhe.
Once we had savoured wonder, untainted and wide-eyed,
but your thirst for more and more soured it
Now,
A vengeful morass of memories -
an obscurity follows the blackness,
numbness follows the pain.

A love burnt to ashes,
in a torrent of wrath.
I promise to rise again,
rise again with all my might.

World shall condemn you,
To a solitary and drudgery filled life.
I am consumed,
consumed by a turmoil to ameliorate or annihilate.