When reality overwhelms...

When the reality overwhelms us, we seek refuge in fantasy.

Fantasy helps us to escape from the hard realities of the daily life. It makes the real that more bearable even if it is for a brief moment. It provides a reprieve from the bitter truths.. wraps them like a cocoon and waits for the right moment to unfold and help us face the reality.

Procrastination..... and Solution(s)

I have this terrible tendency of making elaborate plans with the minutest of details in mind but somehow or the other when it comes to its implementation I tend to develop not only the proverbial cold feet but I'd say a completely numb mind.. coz the truth is I just freeze at the implementation stage.

So, what should I do.. that is one question that has been haunting me for a long, long time. Tried doing what everyone now-a-days does when in a quandary.. 'googled' it and found no workable solution except a few good quotes and a lot of time in front of the screen.

Finally, I decided to go to the basics of what had been taught to us as youngsters and we often ran away from.. making a Schedule of things to be done in a day extended to a week and viola I had a workable solution to the problem I had been facing vis-a-vis the procrastination.

Since the day began I have managed to visit the Bank, make 2 sketches (will upload these shortly), look up and make a simple craft on quilling (would upload this too), got some work done on my work-in-progress novel, and also managed to snatch some moments to talk to a friend.

On the whole it has been a satisfying day and it is still not finished!! Keeping fingers crossed on continuing with the same zeal tomorrow!

Indian Culture and Foreign influences

Of late the political parties and religious bodies in India have been raising a hue and cry about the increase in the influence of the 'western' culture on our present generations. The points that need to be pondered are: a) Are these influences of a recent nature? b) How beneficial these influences have been for our country?

On turning the pages of history it becomes evident that the outside influences have played a major role in shaping up the culture of present day India. Prior to Alexander's invasion attempt, India had sporadic contact with the west and the influence was also limited. With the entry of Alexander, western influence became more pronounced. In the centuries that followed, many more invaders lay siege to the country but soon surrendered to the beauty and charm of the land. Many a tradition got amalgamated in the thread of daily life of the people ranging from some evils as Sati, Purdah to the good ones included better educational reach for all strata, attempt at removal of caste system.

Coming back to the original line of thought... it s not only West that has influenced the Indian culture, there are many an influence which has affected the nations worldwide ranging from our food (which is quite akin to Mexican food!!), our dresses & accessories (Sari, bindis and many more are now a part of red carpet attire) are just a few.

Our most important influencing factor has been in the form of the migrating populace which has led to our ideas and ways of living being more acceptable now as compared to few decades back. NRIs have played and can play an important role in making our culture more accessible for the lands where they have settled.

To sum up, negating the western influences with the sweep of a hand is not advised but a more judicious choice of positive western influences needs to be made by the masses. What is more important is that we as a nation stop giving in to bullying by religious or political bodies who do so to promote their own personal agendas.

Lost

When was the last time you took a break and looked at the stars?

I recall as a child sleeping outside under the open skies. Often spent many a night watching the twinkling stars way way past the sleeping time. Way past everyone had slept, trying to count all the stars not just in my view but an ambition of counting in the whole sky!

My logic was earth rotates and so I could count all of them, just had to make sure I stayed up that long for the whole sky to pass my view. Every night I tried to keep my eyes open long enough, rarely ever crossed 500 before stars lulled me into sleep. But did I give up. No. I tried and succeeded at making my elder sibling to join me in the noble cause of solving the question of how many stars in sky. Alas! He was never as motivated as me and often slept leaving me counting all by myself.

With age the ambition of counting the stars was left behind. More important matters such as classes, heartaches and heartbreaks took over but whenever I could not sleep I often would spend the night gazing at the twinkling stars till the time stars gave up their fight to light up the skies and submitted to the warm embrace of the rising sun.

Sorely miss the days of star gazing coz now when I look up at the skies for the reassuring twinkling all I see is the lonely moon trying to dispel all the darkness, but fails since it shines with borrowed life.

I wish I could give my son the joy of gazing at the night sky with all the stars twinkling as if only for you. The urban lights have engulfed the night sky and the only time we get to see the stars is when we visit a planetarium. Hope that in the madness of growing our cities and fulfilling our dreams we don't loose out on the small joys forever.

You learn something every day if you pay attention.

The statement set the wheels in my mind churning. Till I had ‘read’ it, it was just another statement out of the many I had read throughout the day. It made me sit up and think what I had learnt from all the things I had done the whole day.

In today’s age of short attention spans, becoming shorter everyday with the new gadgets and new methodologies of media to grab attention, it becomes important for me as a teacher to ensure that students remain interested in the content being taught.

The thirty-five minutes of the class sometimes become so difficult since the children these days ask questions ranging from ‘Why the sky is blue’ to ‘why the trees do not fall in hill stations?’ I know you must be wondering what is wrong with the question, perfectly legit question.

Wait! I still have to give you the back-ground to the questions. The topic being done in the class Plant Adaptations in Desert plants....

The statement/question being told/asked by the cutest/brilliant student is

‘Teacher, teacher... (Infinity times)...

(When the instructions are to raise your hand, wait for being asked to speak, but no Teacher... he has to ask, so he has to ask. I relent and tell him to speak & believe me he does speak...)

The plants growing in water do not have stomata at the underside.”

Controlling that crick in my neck... I very politely ask him...

Is that a query or are you telling me.

The head bobs up and down, up and down, ‘Teacher I knew this.’

I re-confirm ‘So, you are telling me about it.’

‘Yes Teacher’

But, we are doing desert plants.

Yes Teacher

So how is it related (trying in vain to make him realise that he should have waited for the topic to be discussed...)

The head bobs up & down more furiously.... ‘But, then you would have told....’

I patiently ask him, ‘Any more things you want to ask.’ I re-direct the question to include the rest of the class. No hands go up.

I continue (try & continue is more like it) with describing plants in deserts. The hand shoots up again...

‘Teacher, teacher... teacher, teacher... teacher, teacher...’ giving up on attempts to ignore him, I ask, ‘Yes’.

Teacher, you had told Mesophytes are plants that can survive in plains.

I wait, nodding my head in acknowledgment, for the question to come... finally, I ask him, ‘and... .’

Teacher I just wanted to tell you.

I could go on with the recount of the whole class, but I would prefer to give only a snippet.

But, how is this related to the quote in the beginning of the blog. The relation lies in the fact, that today I learnt that there are always going to be eager beavers in the class who want to be the first to answer and also the first to ‘inform’ and also be the most naughtiest of the lot.

Teaching has been made a fun and a challenge because of the ‘eager beavers’ in the class, who not only keep me on my toes but also keep the class lively with their lovely antics.

Perfection…. Problem?

Earlier in the day I read an article which discussed the problems of seeking perfection. I had never thought of being a perfectionist as a problem. Many a times I had been told that the work being done has to be perfect. Do not want to admit it, but I do have an OCD streak wherein I need to clean a small spot of dirt, wash my hands after every work I do and then apply a moisturizer. I had never realized that I had an issue till it was pointed out by a close family member. I was informed that in the last ten minutes I had washed my hands five times and had moisturized the same number of times; until that time I had been totally unaware of the same.

In all the growing years, I’d always sought for perfection in my own skewed view. In my obsession for perfection I preferred to be alone in its pursuit rather than share it with anyone else. I wanted to be perfect in the knowledge of anything before I shared/discussed with the others. It made sense, ‘perfect’ sense… why share something and let the other person know that I am lacking in something; rather keep quiet, learn everything to learn and surprise the friends and family.

Quoting from the article, “perfection suggests a state of flawlessness, without any defects. To be perfect implies a condition whereby your action or performance attains a level of excellence that cannot be exceeded.”

The expression ‘To err is human’ started making sense to me after many a torturous nights!!

The desire to be perfect or was it to be praised….was so strong that it over-shadowed everything else. It overtook every other desire, goal and goaded me on. Everyone around was being measured against each other for the success. It was not sufficient to be good at one thing; we had to be good at everything we did. It was like we were supposed to touch was to turn to gold, like the Midas’ touch; unfortunately Midas too had to suffer.

The viewpoint on what it meant to live well did not mean anything. It was and still at times is about being the best, being the perfectionist.

There is no other justification to explain that I would rather sit up and redo the whole thing instead of tendering in an unfinished project. There are many a times I have erased the lines of a drawing or have torn up the pages in sheer frustration because the lines or the words did not live up to what I wanted them to convey.

After reading the article I have been thinking, according to what or for whom am I not perfect or am perfect… The answer is a sad one... it is only me who has set a benchmark for myself.  Often I have not been able to meet the standards and have either given up on the project or have shelved it till I could get a better way to tackle it.

In truth, this has led me to be a procrastinator. Rather than to accept defeat and try to finish the project, I would make an excuse of not doing it at the required time.

The article mentioned that the desire to be a perfectionist was more due to an underlying insecurity. Reflecting on the words, I am getting a sense of déjà vu… yes it is right… I do have this feeling that whatever I am doing I could do better.  The question is better than what? Better than what I had done in the past, but the past is gone and I could always accept that and move on.

I had always a dialogue going on in my mind, counseling me, telling me of better options, I think it is time to stop listening to the ‘voices in my head’ (sshhh…. Do not tell!!), and also to stop measuring myself against others and what I was and am all the time.

Rangoli for Diwali

I made two rangoli designs today for welcoming the Goddess Laxmi, the Goddess of Prosperity who is worshipped on the Diwali Eve along with her son, Lord Ganesha, the God of Wisdom.

Diwali is celebrated to mark the return of Lord Rama along with his wife Ma Sita and his brother Lord Laxman after a fourteen year exile. In these fourteen years, Lord Rama underwent many a hardships but faced all of these along with his wife and brother, who never faltered a step in the journey.

I would be making a rangoli of Lord Ganesha later in the day. Keeping fingers crossed for it to come out right.