Flights of thoughts...

A couple of days back there had been a workshop on stress management in our school (which by the way we need almost on an hourly basis... these once in a blue moon kinds do not really work for us...!!) Anyways, so this person who had come to take the workshop had asked a question about the thoughts and the tendency of the thoughts to be all over the place.

As was bound to happen, most of us found ourselves thinking about the things he was referring to.. such as where do you stay.. how do you come to school.. and as generally does happen.. I found myself picturing the whole route from my home to workplace... (Ah!! but then that is what any normal human being would do... what... picturing the whole journey from home to work.. and for what.. because someone had asked how do you come to work.. don't tell me that was not something you were doing!)

We all often find ourselves bound by our thoughts.. no it is not the 'feelings'.. the much abused part of our emotions but the thoughts which captivate us.. which tend to take us away from the intended path for the moment. I totally agree to the reasoning that you are what you think. (Right! like that makes it all easy?!) No it does not.. who can understand this better than someone who has been struggling to control how I think.. what thoughts I allow my conscious and sub-conscious to permeate.. It is a Herculean task to say the least.. to say the least.

Of very recent, what I have started to do is if a thought is bothering me so much as to paralyze me.. I write it down.. that let's me look at it in black and white and realize that it is definitely not worth the head-ache.. (Yes.. I do get head-aches from my thoughts.. imagine and they have no existence beyond your brain... talk about presence..) I am not sure it would work as a long term measure but for now I am satisfied (and that is a feeling not a thought)

Apathy

I wonder what makes us a human race to be so insensitive to the tortures we inflict upon the other members of the Earth, may these be the small creatures like the birds; sparrows, kites, or the big graceful creatures like the elephant or the dangerous predators like the shark. We are always hunting these down for our fun and pleasure. If it is not for fun then it is for the 'economic' viability of trade that these animals offer.

We come across many articles in the course of day wherein the man as the superior being indulges in the sale purchase of the lesser species. In fact it is not even frowned upon now. From the milch cattle to the latest 'fad' pet every specie is available for a price. What we can not sell as living being, we kill, slaughter ruthlessly and then feel no remorse in selling the body parts.. piecemeal... giving no peace even in death to the animal.

We pride ourselves to be the superior race.. in what way are we superior.. that we can trap them.. we can breed them in captivity.. we can kill.. maim or hunt them.

Often I wonder, how would we feel if it was ever to happen that the tables were turned and the 'weak' species were able to trade the humans.. Would we still feel the apathy or would it raise our heckles enough to take out rallies against the ferocious animals...

Raoul - Part 5

Earlier
Raoul called up Omar as soon as he was out of the home after dropping the kids with Lyana coming back. He made up a story about trying to find about the Buddhist sculptures which had been found in the Bujang Valley and wanting some information about a few sculptures. Omar invited him to come over in his cheerful voice. Putting the car in the traffic moving towards the Bujang valley, he could not but think about the events of the last two days.

He was puzzled as to why anyone would be interested in a sculpture which had been discovered way back in 1941. He had found out in his research at the library that the 'Standing Buddha' had been shifted out of Malaysia when the Britisher's left and was kept in the London museum. It had been stolen and was out of the public eye for about next 20 years and it had been mysteriously donated to the Bujang Museum a few years back. Raoul shook his head with confusion hoping to get a clearer picture after meeting with Omar.

The museum had the usual smattering of a few visitors; it was generally the case. The museum did not offer guided tours and the two or three people who had been appointed by the Government made halfhearted attempts at interacting with the guests. It was a typical Government building which had been touched with apathy as the rest of the Government. Although there was a positive aspect to the museum; there was no entry fee to the Museum, but the fact that the visitor had to rely upon himself/herself for finding about the artifacts displayed made the visit a monotonous affair.

The security was almost non-existent at the Museum, making it easy for any possible heist very easy. Raoul was wondering if it would not be possible to just walk out of the museum with an artifact, quite unnoticed by the untrained staff. Hoping for his fears to have no basis in reality, he decided to broach the subject once he was meeting Omar.

Omar greeted Raoul with his familiar grin and escorted Raoul towards his office. Raoul launched directly into the questions, not waiting to be seated. Omar's expression changed as he listened to Raoul's query about the sculptures. He was very pleased to know that Raoul had come here to discuss about the Buddhist sculptures which had been found in the last 60 years. His expressions were animated as he discussed something which was close to his heart. Towards the end of the meeting, Raoul asked Omar if he had not felt trepidation due to a non-existent security at Museum.

Omar's face was pinched and the sadness reached his eyes, when he admitted that he was aware of the almost non-existent security present at the Museum and the probable threat of loss of an artifact; but he was helpless in view of the government's apathy towards the development of modern features for Museum. He told Raoul that he had many representations to the officials in the Department of Culture but was yet to receive an encouraging news from the ministry. Raoul nodded at Omar's information; it was only a confirmation of what he had already know. It would be a child's play to take away the prized statue.

The acceptance of the fact shook him through and he felt a chill run down his spine. He debated telling Omar about it but knew that till he actually had a proof there was not much he could do or say in the matter. He took leave from Omar assuring him that he would be returning in case of any issues requiring the genial man's help.

to be continued...Raoul - 6

Raoul -Part 4

Earlier
Raoul kept his distance from the three of them following each movement of the three. He wished he could listen in on to what they were talking about, but he knew that he could not take the risk of being discovered.
The three of them walked to the parking area and got into a steel-grey Honda Accord (Raoul made a mental note that he had to send Lyana's Accord for servicing too) and moved away. Raoul quickly rushed to where his car had been parked. By the time he was able to join the traffic moving out of the Bujong Valley Museum, he had lost on precious time (he thought to himself, should have parked near the exit... that way could have caught up with them) and the Accord was moving away from him at a rapid pace. He muttered under his breath... 'God! I did not get the registration number on that!! He cursed himself on missing out on taking down such simple a detail but gave solace to himself with the fact that the three would have to come again to the museum the next day if they actually planned on making an attempt to heist the 'Standing Buddha'.

He decided to go to the local library to try and find more about the statue. Looking at the statue, Raoul had not been able to understand the importance of it. It was a very simple statue of Buddha cast in bronze standing in the 'tribhanga' pose and was attributed to Mrs. Dorothy Wales for its 'found' status. She had probably been a lonely wife whose husband was posted in military service. She had continued with the excavations at the site in Bujang Valley when Mr. Wales (archaeologist H G Quaritch Wales) had been posted even though they had reached the shores of Malaysia as a couple and had endeavored to work as a team. Raoul was wondering how it must have been for both of them, separated in an alien land with the threat of loosing the partner weighing heavy in mind. He found out that 'his' Buddha had been discovered in 1941 and had been deposited in the Raffles Library Museum.

The thing that weighed heavy on his mind was the reason for the sudden interest being shown by the motley group of three. He just could not resist labeling them as 'Three Musketeers'. It appeared to him as a quixotic behavior, trying to steal 'his' Buddha from the museum. He thought he would get back to the Omar and try to find out some more facts about the statue of Buddha.

His train of thoughts was interrupted by the phone which buzzed in his pocket. He took it out absent-minded but was on full alert when he saw that it was Lyana calling. She hardly called him during the day except when it was a case of dire emergency. Ready for the worst, but hoping his fears would be allayed, he took the call. Relief spread upon his features when he heard Lyana saying that she had to meet up with a few friends and would appreciate if he could pick up the kids from the school and drop them home. He assured her that he would not forget like the last time and would definitely get the kids. Lyana told him that she would be calling again in an hour to remind him.

Raoul could not help himself from smiling at the conversation he had with his wife. He realized that he would have to postpone his meeting with Omar, that meant that he would not be able to meet the affable man til the next day. Hoping that it might not be too late, he moved out of the library, to update his boss Akim about the day's happening. He also had to return the camera after getting the pictures developed (who knows he just might be able to notice something which he had missed out).

.....to be continued...Raoul - 5

Raoul - Part 3

Earlier
Knocking on the door, Raoul entered the office on his hearing 'Come' from the inside. Akim was a wiry man aged about 47 (at least that was what he had been celebrating for the last 3 years... Raoul thought to himself). Akim was a man with liberal outlook to life and was always in a peaceful place. Even though he was a Muslim by religion, he believed in the teachings of Buddha and was often surrounded by Buddhist paraphernalia in his office. He used to get so excited when he found anything new, be it any teaching or a new Buddha image. Once he got to know of anything related to Buddhism being available he was overcome with a holy zeal to possess it.  Today was no different; Raoul found him engrossed in poring over a 'thangka' available on a website on the desktop, with many files lying opened on the table. A large number of files lay on the floor indicating that Akim had been the office since long. Raoul was impressed with his dedication to work.

Akim looked up from the screen and motioned him to sit down, getting once again engrossed in the screen. He motioned Raoul to come and take a look at the 'thangka' he had been so absorbed with. Raoul knew he would have to humor his boss, in order to get him to hear the news. Raoul groaned inwardly and got up from his chair, a plastic smile plastered on face, and joined Akim in looking at the 'thangka'. If it had been any other day and Raoul had time to kill, he would have been very happy to indulge Akim, but today Raoul was in a hurry. The 'thangka' he saw was very beautiful, with Buddha seated on a lotus flower with his eyes closed, right hand holding on to a rice bowl 'Buddha Shakyamuni- The Awakened One from Shakya Clan'.

Raoul nodded his head in agreement on Akim asked him if it was worth the buy. His restlessness was showing on his face, observing that Akim asked him as to what he could do. Raoul took a deep breath and launched into the recounting of yesterday's incidents. He told Akim about his meeting with the Chief Curator and his over-hearing the conversation between the two men.

After Raoul had finished, Akim rubbed his hand across his day old beard, thinking about what he had just heard; his eyes had lit up showing he had liked what he had heard. Raoul looked on expectantly, waiting with bated breath for his boss's reply. Deliberating for a couple of minutes, Akim nodded his head in agreement. Raoul leaped up from his seat, thanking Akim profusely and rushed out of the office. He heard Akim before the door closed, 'Get back all the information, I think this is going to be big'. Raoul grinned to himself, eager to reach in time.

Raoul was breathing heavy with excitement, but waited patiently discretely hidden behind the pillar for the men to come back to the 'Standing Buddha'. He looked nervously at his watch, half -expecting the men to delay their coming to the museum. He had almost given up when he had to wait for over an hour after the scheduled time had passed by. Just as he was about to move away, dejected, he saw the men coming inside.  

Raoul made sure he was not visible from where he stood. The men came near to the display and waited. Raoul found this odd, but decided to wait it out. One of them spoke up, 'How long, Anees?' The other one who obviously was Anees, replied, 'A few more minutes would not kill you Hanif. We've been asked to wait, so we wait.'  Raoul was sure Anees was the one in charge. Hanif lowered his eyes and looked away, clearly embarrassed at being snubbed but unable to retort back.

There were three of them waiting, two of them aware and one waiting for the drama to unfold. Raoul was feeling tired standing with the camera hanging around his neck, which he had borrowed on his way out from a colleague. He was not taking any chances this time.

Anees and Hanif were soon joined by another person, who had his face hidden under the baseball cap and was wearing clothes which were a size too big for him. Raoul took a few pictures, to be used later. The man who had joined asked Anees something, Anees obliged him and lead him closer to the 'Standing Buddha'. The man looked at the statue and appeared to be get very flustered. The longer he stood near the statue, more angrier he got.

He rushed out of the museum followed by Anees and Hanif closely followed by Raoul.

... to be continued.. Raoul - 4

Raoul - Part 2

Earlier
Back from the museum, Raoul had his mind in a quandary. There were questions that were there which seemed to have no answer, at least not right now. He was pacing back and forth in his home office (he smirked at the term; it was a small room with hardly space for a small table and a chair which had been pushed against the wall so that he could pace in that 2 X 2 room), trying to absorb the parts of conversations he had over-heard. He was so engrossed in his thoughts that he did not notice the sound of soft foot-steps behind him. The hand touched him on the shoulder, startling him out of his thoughts. He smiled at his his wife of 10 years, Lyana, trying to look undisturbed.

Lyana smiled back, her smile reaching her eyes, her eyes crinkling and her mouth going up from one side forming a lop-sided smile. His heart did a flip, it was her smile which had attracted him to her. He had noticed her smile from across the room that night in the party. He had turned to face her now. Her hand slid from his face and was lying softly at his shoulder, still smiling, she asked, 'You seemed to be worried! Anything bothering you?' Raoul knew that telling Lyana of the conversation would help relieve the tension he was feeling but also felt that now was not an appropriate time. Lyana belonged to the Batek tribe and was very fierce in protecting the native culture. She was one of the founding members of 'Malaysian Cultural Group' although with the babies coming along she was more of a passive member.

Raoul assured her that it was just the small tiff he had in the office with Abdul. Abdul was being his obnoxious self and was making the new interns uncomfortable with his nonsensical demands on their time and energies. Lyana's smile spread thinking about the oh-so-often tiffs Abdul and Raoul had, but were still friends. She ruffled  his hair and told him not to worry and come to bed. Raoul smiled but his mind had already gone back to the questions. He assured her, he'd be there shortly. With that promise, he gently moved Lyana out of the office towards the bed-room.

Raoul stood facing the small window, lost in his thoughts. A distant horn of a car brought him back, looking at the clock on the table, he noticed it was quite late. He decided to hit the sack and may be his subconscious would help him reach an answer soon.

Next morning, he gobbled the breakfast of fried beehoon (fried noodles) which Lyana had served today with egg. It was one of his favorite foods and he would have gone for another helping but for Lyana's eyebrows going up, the moment his hand went towards the serving bowl. Kissing his kids and being told by them, 'Ow, gross!', he moved out the house, chuckling to himself.

Punching in at the attendance machine (groaning at himself for being late again), he moved towards his desk. He still had to get his own office even after 15 years in the same paper. He had always been given the look-over when it was time for promotion. He waited patiently (it had now become a part of him.... patience) for his chance, each rejection pushing him to work harder. Keeping his bag on the chair, he nodded an early morning greetings to his colleagues and sidled to his boss's office.  He had to share his 'news' with him.

to be continued....Raoul - 3

Raoul - Part 1

He could feel stiffness in the neck muscles with him poring at the screen for the last two hours. His hands were typing with a frenzy, his mind was fired up with ideas, he did not wish to be stopped till he finished and had asked his family to go catch up on a popular movie that was showing in the nearby multiplex (he hated going to multiplexes; these were lacking in that old world charm that he had always been a sucker for, thinking of multiplex was something he could not afford. He gently nudged the thought out of his mind and got back to banging on the keys). The moment's reprieve brought on by the thoughts had allowed him to stretch out, try to get the stiffness away.

He was working against a ticking clock with the sword of deadline looming over him. When he had started with the work on the report on the archaeological finds in the Bujang Valley he had no idea that he was going to be fighting tooth and nail for the security of his family. Few more hours and the paper would be in print and he would be able to breathe easy again.

His thoughts wandered to the day he had visited the Bujang Valley Archaeological Museum in order to meet with the Chief Curator, Mr. Omar, the meaning of the word Omar ironically being the highest. Omar was a man well-known in the field of Archaeology for his findings in the Bujang Valley over the last 20 years that he had been there. Omar had been working diligently to unravel the mysteries from the past era when the region was under the rule of rulers who had been influenced by Buddhist-Hinduism ideologies and had been rumored to be rich. He had even had the local universities and colleges have their students sent over to the archaeology sites so that the present generation would become aware of the richness of the land that was.

Raoul had expected a sharp man with a tough demeanor but was taken aback when he met the some-what bumbling Omar who had a pink undertones to the skin showing a proclivity to the pleasures of drink. Omar was an affable man. He recalled the meeting had gone well and it was only when he had been coming back from the meeting that he had over-heard or was it more like eaves-dropped on the conversation that had been going on between two otherwise nondescript people but for the fact that they were in a museum and were showing no interest in any of the artifacts on display. They were gesticulating and pointing towards the figure of 'Standing Buddha'. His attention was caught, his curiosity heightened and he moved stealthily towards them to try and listen in on the conversation. They were so occupied with the argument that his movements were largely unnoticed.

Standing behind the pillar near the display of 'Standing Buddha' he was able to hear them and what he heard had him shocked. He stood rooted to his place long after both of them had left. His mind was in a flurry, he decided to go talk with Omar about what he had overheard but the journalist in him got the better of him. He decided to dig deeper and wait it out a little longer.

..... to be continued  Roul - 2